Saturday, November 27, 2010

SCIENCE EXAM


If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers. Some of them are hysterical. 

 Q: Name the four seasons.
 A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 

 Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
 A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 

 Q: How is dew formed? 
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

 Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
 A: Keep it in the cow.

 Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
 A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. 

 Q: What are steroids? 
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 

 Q: What happens to your body as you age? 
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. 

 Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
 A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. 

 Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
 A: Premature death. 

 Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) 
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U. 

 Q: What is the fibula?
 A: A small lie.

 Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
 A: Nearby. 

 Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.' 
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome 

 Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?' 
 A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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