Sunday, December 19, 2010

`EnGIneeR`

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An Engineering Student to his Sweeper:
.
Brother: Mere Paas Degree hai,
Knowledge hai,
4 Logon Main Baithne ki izzat hai.
Tere Paas Kya Hai?
.
.
Sweeper: Mere Paas Naukri Hai.
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Santa ne apne 6 months k baby
ki birthday party rakhi,banta:6 month k baby ka B'Day kese.
Santa:Hum semester system ko follow karte he.  
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40 marks ki kimat tum kya jaano toppr babu...
1 teacher ka aashirwad hota hai 40 marks...
1 failure ke sar ka taaj hota hai 40 marks...
Har student ka khwab hota hai 40 marks...!!!
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Be A "Diode" 2 remove negative thinking,
A "transistor" 2 amplify the character,
A "resistor" 2 drop bad habits,
A "capacitor" 2 store good thought.
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For ENGINEERING students
.
Ques: prove that 2/10=2.
.
Normal college student insist questi0n is "out of syllabus" or inc0rct but Engineering student nevr know wht is c0rect answer, he always thnk we are Enginerng stdnt and we should thnk difrnt and invent new miracles so Enginering student wil s0lve dis example as bel0w:
.
2=two
10=ten, therefore
= two/ten
= cancel (t)
= wo/en
.
W=23
O=15
E=5
N=14,
.
theref0re
.
w+o=23+15=38
& e+n=5+14=19
.
Theref0re
.
wo/en = 38/19 = 2
.
Hence proved!!!
.
For Engineers it d0esnt matter answer kia hai, they say answer kia laana hai yeh bata humain =D
.
ENGINEERS ROCKS
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Heated Gold Becomes Ornament 
Beated Copper Becomes Wire 
Depleted Stone Becomes Statue 
Tortured Student Becomes!! 
What? 

Engineer...
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Santa raised his bat on 23 runs
Sachin asks him: It's not 50 or 100!
Santa says:Only engineering studnt can understand imp of scoring 23! 
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4 SAAL
8 LADAAI (SEM)..
46 DUSHMAN (PAPERS).....
25 TANKS (LAB)......
138 GOLI (FACULTY)

AUR EK AKELA
JAABAZ........

YES THAT'S
ENGINEER....
PROUD OF THAT.

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law of consrvation of knowledge:

howevr long dlectur may be,

knowledge b4 d lectr n aftr d lectr remains constant..........

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Bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam?

Don't say wah wah. Plz feel d pain

.

.

.

MUNNA bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam. :-P :-D
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School me masti thi,
Hamari bhi hasti thi,
Teacher ka Sahara tha,
Dil ye awara tha,
Kaha aa gaye is DEGREE k flat me,
YAAR WO SCHOOL KITNA PYARA THA.
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“FACEBOOK Ki Yadain
in 2010..
” Woh Apne
Status Ko Khud Hi LIKE
Krna,
Woh Apni D.P Ko Khud Hi
NICE Kehna,
Woh
Apne LINK KO Khud Hi
AWESOME Kehna,
Woh Raat Bhar CHAT Pe
Baatain,...
Woh Lover Of The Day
Mai Jan Booj K Selection
Karna …
Ab Na
Wo Din Rahay Na Raatain,
Kuch Raha To Bas Aankhon
Mai Apni ...PROFILE
Or Chat Ki Yadain :
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Ho Gayee Galti Hamsee Click Ho Gaya Mouse
Dunya Ki Parwa Chhodo Ban Jaoo Meri Spouse
Tum See Mila Mein Kal To Mere Dil Mein Hua Ek Sound
Lekin Ajj Tum Mili To Kehta Hai Your File Not Found !
Ab Aur Kaho Na Tum ” But ” Ya ” If ” Tum Ho Meri Zindagi Ki Animated Gif
Aisa Bhi Nahi Hai Kee , I Dont Like Your Face
Par Dil Kee Computer Mein Nahi Hai Enough Disk Space !
Ghar See Nikalti Ho Tum Jab Pehan Kee Evening Gown
Too Many Request See Ho Jata Hai Server Down
Tumharee Liyee Pyaar Ki Application , Creat Mein Karoonga
Tum Usse Debug Karna Wait Mein Karoonga
Tumhara Intezaar Karte Karte Mein So Gaya !
Yeh Dekho Mera Connecting Time Out Ho Gaya….
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Apne chehre se ruswaiyoon ka
ERROR to hatao,janeman apne
dil ka PASSWORD to batao!
Wo to hum hai jo aap ki chahat
ko dil mein rakh ke ghoomte
hai,warna aap jaise SOFTWARES
to bazaar mein bikte hai!
Roz raat ko aap mere sapno
mein aati ho,mere pyar ko
MOUSE bana ke apni ungaliyoon
se nachati ho!
Tere pyar ka E-MAIL mere dil ko
lubhata hai,par beech mein tere
bhai ka VIRUS aa jata hai!
Keval aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT
karte hai,warna baki CASES mein
COPY PASTE se kaam karte hai!
Aap ka hasna,aap ka chalna,aap
ki wo style,aap ki in aadaoon ki
humne SAVE karli hai ek FILE!
Ab aur nahi sah sakte hum
intezaar,humare dil ki SITE pe
jaldi ENTER kato yaar!
Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil
mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho:
Your file not found!
Shayad mere pyar ko Taste
karna bhool gaye…
Dil sey aisa ‘cut’ kiya
Ke ‘paste’ karna bhool gaye…
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo…
Mere pyaar ke ‘icon’ pe
kabhi to ‘double-click’ karo…
Roz subha hum karte hain pyar
se unhe good morning…
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise ’0 errors aur 5 warning’…
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke I don’t like
your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
there is no more ‘disk space’.
Ghar se jab tum nikale pehen ke
reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya ‘server down’.
Jabse meri zindagi mein,aayi hai
ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya computer, kya e-mail.
Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application
kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein
wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend
aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection’time
out’ ho gaya..
Nazar mein to kai hain Par dil se
ek wo only hain…
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab ‘read only’ hain…
Tere Pyar ke liye zami-aasma ek
kar doonga…
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi ‘Ctrl
+alt+delete’ kar doonga…
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An Engineer Was Crossing A Road One Day, When A Frog Called Out To Him And Said, "if You Kiss Me, I'll Turn Into A Beautiful Princess." He Bent Over, Picked Up The Frog And Put It In His Pocket. The Frog Spoke Up Again And Said, "if You Kiss Me And Turn Me Back Into A Beautiful Princess, I Will Stay 
with You For One Week." The Engineer Took The Frog Out Of His Pocket, Smiled At It And Returned It To The Pocket. The Frog Then Cried Out, "if You Kiss Me And Turn Me Back Into A Princess, I'll Stay With You For One Week And Do Anything You Want." Again, The Engineer Took The Frog Out, Smiled At It And Put It Back Into His Pocket. Finally, The Frog Asked, 

"what Is The Matter? I've Told You I'm A Beautiful Princess, And That I'll 
stay With You For One Week And Do Anything You Want. Why Won't You Kiss 
me?" The Engineer Said, "look, I'm An Engineer. I Don't Have Time For A 
girlfriend, But A Talking Frog, Now That's Cool."

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An Architect, Engineer And Owner Decide To Design A Building. The Architect Asks The Owner What Style Of Building He Wants. The Owner Describes The Building Down To Each Detail For The Architect. The Architect Spends A Day Drawing A Cartoon Of The Building And Submits It To The Owner For Review. The Owner Looks At The Drawings And Hates Everything He Sees. A Week Has Passed And The Owner Has Made The Architect Go Back And Redraw His Picture Several Times Before The Owner Reluctantly Agrees On How The Building Should Look. 

next, The Architect Submits His Picture To The Engineer For Design. The Engineer Takes The Picture And Begins Calculating And Creating Computer Models To Determine If The Building Will Stand. The Engineer Finds That The Architects Proposed Picture Would Require Structural Members Having A Strength Greater Than Could Be Provided By Any Material Known On Earth. The Engineer Calls The Owner And Explains The Problems With The Architect's Picture And Makes Suggestions On How To Remedy It. A Couple Of Months Go By And The Engineer Has Finished His Design. He Submits His Drawings To The Owner For Final Review And It Looks Nothing Like The Original Proposal By The Architect. The Owner Then Asks What The Final Price Of The Building Is And The Engineer States It Will Cost 3 Times As Much As Originally Quoted. The Owner Turns Red With Rage And Begins Shouting Colorful Adjectives. The Owner Then Takes Out A Pencil And Paper And Scratches On A Piece Of Paper A Building That Is Aesthetically Pleasing, Practical, And Half Of The Original Cost. The Engineer Takes The Drawings And Returns A Week Later With The Finished Design. The Building Was Built At Half The Original Cost And Looks Exactly Like What The Owner Had Drawn. 

The Owner Says He Loves His New Building But Asks, What Has The Architect Been Doing These Past Couple Of Months. The Engineer States He Is Not Exactly Sure. Therefore, They Both Go To The Architect's Desk And Ask Him What He Has Been Doing These Past Couple Of Months. The Architect Looks At Them Both Puzzled And States Without Taking A Breath, "i Have Been Contemplating A Dilemma Of Substantial Proportions That Adversely Effects The Space Flow Continuity Of The Contours And The Absolute Existence Of The Surrounding Aesthetical Hyperbolic Curves Within The Universal Constraints Of The Feasibilities Studies". The Owner And Engineer Look At Each Other Nervously And Wonder About The Future Existence Of The New Building. They Ask The Architect What Is Exactly Is The Problem. The Architect Then States He Is Not Sure If The Trim Should Be Painted Pale Fancy Teal Or Bold Beige. The Owner Becomes Aggravated With The Architect And Says, "just Paint The Damm Thing Blue". 

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Every year 15th September is celebrated as Engineer`s Day. Day is the birthday of Sir Mokshagundam Visvesvarayya, prominent Indian engineer from College Of Engg, Pune (COEP)

and statesman born in Muddenahalli-Kanivenarayanapura in present day Karnataka.

He served as the chief engineer during construction of Krishna Raja Sagara on the Kaveri River near Mysore. He also built many dams in the Bombay presidency (present day Maharashtra). The dams built by him are still functional even today, a testimony to his brilliance, skill, honesty and dedication. So 15September, Engineer’s Day 2010 which becomes 150 years since a legend was born, is quite a remarkable tribute to the greatestIndian Engineer Bharat Ratna M. Visvesvarayya.
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East or West Engineers are the Best
Happy Engineers Day
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Centuries ago people who sacrificed their
sleep, food, laughter & other joys of life
were called “SAINTS”
Now they are called ENGINEERS……….
HAPPY ENGINEERS DAY
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“Engineers participate in the activities which make the resources of nature available in a form beneficial to man and provide systems which will perform optimally and economically.” — L. M. K. Boelter
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“Engineering is the professional art of applying science to the optimum conversion of natural resources to the benefit of man.” — Ralph J. Smith
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“After graduating in engineering I went to the University of Kansas to get an MA in economics as a vehicle for allowing me to decide if I wanted to continue in economics.” — Vernon L. Smith
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“A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible.” — Freeman Dyson
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Height Of Technical Overdose..! A software engineer falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 instead of help help... :-)
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Girl:Ladka kaisa He..?

Brother:Ladka Achha H, Engineer H
Dikhne Me FILM Ka HERO Lagta H

Girl:Kaun si FILM Ka HERO?


"PAA"
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Khoob$urat ladkiyan zyada padhai nai karti bcoz?



wo janti h ke duniya k ki$i kone me koi gadha unke liye engineer ya doctor ban raha hoga
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Hum wo Engineer nhi jinko hatho me AC ya DC se jhatke lag jate hai
Hum to un me se h jo Short circuit se GOLD FLAKE jalate h
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Heer - Main Tumhare Ishq Mein Barbaad Ho Gayi,,,Lut Gayi,,, Ruswa Ho Gayi... 
Raanjha - To karamjali Main Kaun Sa ENGINEER Ban Gaya....
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Most hurtinwords said to a "true engineer lover" by his Girlfriend-






































"Clear ur Backs b4 talkin 2 me!"K
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"God Is Also An Engineer:
BRAHMA-System installer
VISHNU-System supporter
SHIVA-System Programmer
NARAD-Data Transferer
Or
APSARA-AntiVirus
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Engnr viva

Sir:Tell Ohms law
Tin2:Sir i dnt knw ful i knw only last part of it
sir:ok tel tht only

Tin2:"This is called ohms law".
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IN 2020 Bikhari: Bhagwan K naam pe kuch de de.
Engnr: Ye le meri B.E. ki degree.
Bikhari: Nahi chaiye, Tujhe chaiye to meri M.B.A ki rkh le.
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India Has The 2nd Largest Pool of Scientists and Engnr in The World.

-India is The Largest English Speaking Nation in the world..PROUD
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Doctr & Engineer Luv d same Grl.
Dr. givs her a Rose bt Engnr givs her Apple daily.
Dr asks: Y?
Eng: An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctr Away.!
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BRILINT LINES BY M.VISHVESHVRAYA
(1st engnr of India

"If u cant create ur own answrs in exam, 
then engg. is not fo u..":-)
_t
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Engnr's love:
BOY:i'll clmb evrst,swim acrs pacifc,wak on hot brning coal jst 4 u
Gal:wah!canu cm 2 meet me nw?
BOY:nt nw
2mori've INTRNLS!
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Engnr can do anything-
Eg: Prove 1=2.
Sol: Let x=y
dan V can write,

2x-x=2y-y

(2x-2y)=(x-y)

i.e 2(x-y)=(x-y)

i.e2=1

Math ka satyanash
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Rajnikant got admision for engnrng

& what

4sub & 2oral r back

evrybdy shocks, engnr rocks.

ye engg he bhaya,fir wo
rajni ho ya ghajini.
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D wrd "B0_b" is a prfct description n drawing 4 woman's brst
'B'-top view
'oo' -frnt view
'b' -side view
This is called engineering drawing.
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Engineering Is So Easy..:-)

Just Like, Walk In The Park

And..

Park Is Like 




















Jurassic Park..:-P
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EDUCATION OF PAKISTAN
B.E -Bomb Engineering
M.B.B.S -Membr of Bomb Blasting Society.
C.A.T-Career in Alqueda&Taliban
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GOLU-Agar Is ped Pe Charh JauTo Kya Engineering College ki Ladkiya Dikhegi

MOLU-Ha Or Hath Chor DegaTo Medical College Ki B Dikh Jyengi
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Ultimate engineering students joke-






which is the most popular machine known to engineering student? 
















Xerox machine;
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Engnrng Stdnt-Sir humne ak aisi cheez banai he jisse hum diwar k us paar ka b dekh sakte he
Sir-wow fntastic!kya he wo?



Student-Suraakh!!
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Theory is
"U knw somthng but it doesnt work-"
Prcticals is "Sumthng wrks but u dun knw y"
Engnrng is Theo+Pracs=
Nothing works & u dun knw y
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Prove
1Rs=1paise

ENGINRNG SOL.

LHS=1Rs
=100paise
=10ps*10ps

=0.1Rs*0.1Rs

=0.01rs
=1ps

any mstke?

No?

Dis s engnrng
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Charlie Chaplin says: "Life laughs at u when u are unhappy..Life smiles at u when u are happy..But,Life salutes u when u make others happy
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facebook.com/devharsh
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