Monday, December 27, 2010

Funny Shers\Shayris


exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya
KUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
SAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.
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Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola
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Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho dam hamara nikal jata hai.
Aye zalim Deodrant lagane me tumhara kya jata hai ?!
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Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Bell bajain ge aur bhaag jayenge !
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Macchar ne jo kata...
dil main mere junoon tha.
Khujli hui itni... dil be sukoon tha.
Pakra to chor diya yeh soch kar ki....
kambakht ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha!
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Humane aapki yad me cigarate jalai
Magar kambakhat dhooein ne bhi teri tasveer banayi. ****************************************
Jab tota howa dirty
Tote se boli maina
Jab tota hua dirty
Tote se boli maina
don't u worry......
Surf excel hai na! 
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Aaj ka kam kal kar pyare kal ka parso
Itni bhi kya jaldi hai jab jena hai barso. 
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Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo jail mein hote hai. 
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Aur bhi bahut si cheezain lut chu-ki hai dil ke saath
Ye bataya doostoon ne ishq furmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez "check" karta hoon main
"Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad"
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Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindagi main,badi josh ke sath!
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindagi main,badi shor ke sath!
Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath !
Kyon ki usey kal sham ko dekha kisi aur ke sath !
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Unki zulfoon pe pyaar aaya
Paas ja kar dekha tu sardar paya 
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Apple katety hai knife se,juice pite hai pipe se,
haha kya zamana agaya hai, joote khate hai wife se. ****************************************
Zoron ki baarish
Makes u wonder...
Zoron ki baarish
Makes u wonder.. is this what they call
Taste The Thunder!
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Dharti se aasmaa tak,
aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak,
aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak,
aasmaa se dharti tak
[Audience: Are bhai,aage bhi to bolo.]
Hawa he hawa hai.[wah wah wah]
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Pyar mein kisi ne Dhoka to kisi ne kasam khayi hai,
Hum woh majnoo hain jisne sirf  laat khayi hai.
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Main tere pyar mein pagal howa chaliye
Mein tere pyar mein pagal howa chaliye,
Iodex maliye kaam pe chaliye. 
**************************************** Dharti, tarey, pahaar, pathar
Dharti, tarey, pahaar, pathar.......
Ekhathar, bahathar, chauhathar, tihathar!
**************************************** Aaj asmaan mein taare aise chamak rahae hain
Aaj asmaan mein taare aise chamak rahae hain,
Bilkul jaise kal chamak rahae thae...(wah wah)
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Dooor se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi.....
Dooor se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi.....
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahi
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Dooor se dekha to Pathar dikhta tha.....
Dooor se dekha... to Pathar dikhtaa thaa.....
Paas jake dekha to... suchmuch Patthhar hi thaa...
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Dooor se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Dooor se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya... to bheeg gaya...
*****************************************
Dharti so rahi hai,
Aasman ro raha hai
Dharti so rahi hai,
Aasman ro raha hai
Nonsense! yeh sab kya ho raha hai?
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Kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Chand to tu hai hi ...sitaare bhee saaath hote !!!
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Duniya Se Jo Darre, Usse Kaayar Kehte Hain,
Duniya Jisse Darre, Usse Shaayar Kehte Hain,
Biwi Se Jo Darre, Usse Shohar Kehte Hain. 
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Jise dil diya woh delhi chali gayi..
Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi...
Dil ne kaha khudkushi kar le zalim...
Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi...(manhoos)
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Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.
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Gum woh cheez hai ...
Gum woh cheez hai ...
jisse paper chipkaya jaata hai . (wah wah wah wah )
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Tum aa gaye ho,Noor aa gaya hai
Chalo teeno picture chalen.....
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Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Lifebouy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan
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Before Marrige :-
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi milti
After Marriage :-
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi marti
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Neil Armstrong Chand par Gaya aur Farmaya
Ye Saala, Idhar hawa kyon nahin ayaa.
**************************************** Maine tujhse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Maine tujhse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Sin theta by cos theta is equal to tan theta
wah wah wah wah wah..... 

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Kutta ban gaya hoon tere pyaar main
yakeen nahin aata to suno...Bhow..bhow..bhow
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Maine tujhe pyar kiya, saraswati samajh kar
Tere baap ne mujhe pita, agarbattti samajh kar
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Chai mai patti nahi to chai ka kya maza .
Chai mai pati nahi to chai ka kya maza.
Collage mai ladki nahi to padna ka kya maza .
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Aaakhain Taras Gaye Tumhara Khyal Aa Gaya
Ab To Chehra Dikha Do, Naya Saal Aaa Gaya 
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Jahaan Gaaye The Khushiyon Ke Taraane
Muqaddar Dekhiye Roye Wahiin Par
Hue Masjid Se Gum Juute Hamaare
JahaaN Se Paaye The, Khoye Wahiin Par. 
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Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki Mail Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Mail Server band Hai........ ****************************************
Pyar mein kitne ghar doob gaye yaaron..
Pyar mein kitne ghar doob gaye yaaron..
Pyar mein pandrah-bees ghar doob gaye yaaron..
(wah,wah,wah, wah....... taaliyaaan) 
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kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ......
ke kyon kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai?? ****************************************
  Maine tujhe sau-sau khat likhe,
tune kisi ka bhi jawab nahi diya;
kahin tere dil mein raddi ki tokri to nahi? 
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Woh chham chham karke aayee
Aur chham chham karke chalee gayee
Main sindoor ka dibba lekar khada raha
Woh Rakhee bandh ke chalee gayee... 
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Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)  
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shairi to aati nahi shayar banne chale
shairi to aati nahi shayar banne chale
sar pe baal nahi amitabh bachan banne chale  
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Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di
Apartment manga.. bangla diya;
dost manga to tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia   
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Tairna Hai To Paani Main Aao,
Kinare Pe Kya Rakha Hai
Ishq Karna Hai ToBaharaa
Ishare main Kya Rakha Hai.
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Industrian sari mere yaar kha gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar kha gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye. 
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Maana Ke Main Pura Musalman To Nahi
Par Apne Deen Se Nata To Jor Sakta Hoon
Nemaz Roza Kuch Na Sahi
Shab-E-Barat Patakhe To Chor Sakta Hoon 
**************************************** Apni tabiyat ko zara sambhliye ,
is pyaar mein itna na uchaliye ,
dil mein agar dard hai ,toh........
IODEX maliye aur kaam par chaliye. 
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Aashiq paagal ho jaate hain pyaar mein
jo kasar reh jati hai vo puri ho jaati hai intzaar mein
magar yeh unki dilruba nahi samajhti
Vo baith kar chali jaati hai kissi aur ki Car mein 
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Itna khoobsurat kaise muskura lete ho
itna qaatil kaise sharmaa lete ho
kitni aassani se jaan le ley leti ho
kissi ne sikhaya hai ja bachpan se he kameene ho.
  ****************************************

I have seen the world from near and far,
found someone,She came in my life like Bahaar
I thought i found my future,
Feel in pyaar Something happend to me,
I called that a Bukhaar.
I never realized,is it Din aur Raat.
All the time Love was getting sawaar,
Used of think of Her bar bar.
In these kind of afairs.Always remains,Hoshiyaar.
I used to think I will have berraa par.
But that Girl made me too much khuaar.
What did i get in return.Mere yaar
I will recommend people,NEVER KARNA PYAAR . ****************************************
Na tere kaam ka,
Na mere kaamka ,
Na duniya ke kaam ka,
Na kisi aur ke kaam ka,
Us ne DIL diya mujhe 10gm ka...!!!   
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Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de 
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Ishq kay samander main ghota lagaya
Pani both thanda tha main bahar nikal aya
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Itnay dino se jalanay nahi aya
Jalti hui aag ko bujhanay nahi aya
Kehta tha saath jiyen gay saath marain gay
Ab rooth gai hoon to ullu ka patha mananay bhi nahi aya  ****************************************
Saray arman darya wich bah gay
wo mujh ko Bhai type kar gay
****************************************
Tairay bina chat ka maza mujhay bhata nahe
jistarhan phika gharboza koi khata nahe
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Mila jo waqat mujhay un say chat karnay ka
maira naseb k light nay sath chor deya
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Din ko bhe ham online huvay raat ko bhe
mukhtalif rooms may bhe chat kartay rahay
sara din type kartay rahay  phir bhe magar na type huvay
janay kia kambakht kharabe the keyboard may jo words type nahe  huvay
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Chat karo ya block karo gila nahe kartay
light na ho tu chatters yaqenan online aya nahe kartay
kardo delete mujh ko magar ye khayal rahay
ham jaisay chatters bar bar mila nahe kartay
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Unki chat ko kabhe ghor say parha hai
nahe sanjedge hai aur na he mazah hai
****************************************
Hamare typing tu aik fun hai
lagta hai tu hamre chating say buhat he tang hai
****************************************
Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske pass noor hai to kya hua
Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera dost Langoor hai
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haseen chehrun se soorat shanaai hoti rehti hai
samjh lo ibtadaai karwaai hoti rehti hai
humari bivi aur mehngaai hain sagi behnain
humaari jaib ki aksar safaai hoti rehti hai
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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye wo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu wo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...

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