Love or Infatuation
(1) Do I treat the other person as a person or a thing?
If you go out with him/her because he/she is good looking (a "prize" to be with) or a way out (a ticket to the movies), that isn't love.
(2) Would you chose to spend the evening alone with him/her if there were no kissing, notouching, and no sex?
If not, it isn't love.
(3) Are the two of you at ease and as happy alone as you are with friends?
If you need other friends around to have a good time, it isn't love.
(4) Do you get along?
If you fight and make up a lot, get hurt and jealous, tease and criticize one another, better be careful, it may not be love.
(5) Are you still interested in dating or secretly "messing around" with others?
If so, you aren't in love.
(6) Can you be totally honest and open?
If either or both of you are selfish, insincere, feel confined, or unable to express feelings, be cautious.
(7) Are you realistic?
You should be able to admit possible future problems. If others (besides a parent) offend you by saying they are surprised you are still together, that you two seem so different, that they have doubts about your choice, better take a good look at this relationship.
(8) Is either of you much more of a taker than a giver?
If so, no matter how well you like that situation now, it may not last.
(9) Do you think of the partner as being a part of your whole life?
If so, and these dreams seem good, that is an indication of love.
You are In Infatuation when:
- You see the other person as perfect
- You want to get own needs met; selfish
- You spend all your time with the other person
- You can Quickly “fall” for the other person
- All your Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
- You are solely Dependant (emotionally) on the other person
- You experience Jealousy frequently
- Your relationship lasts for a short period of time
- Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship
- Your Quarrels are serious and common
- Your Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship
You are Truly in Love when:
- You see the other person’s flaws and still loves them
- You Want to think of your partner first before yourself; selfless
- You still spend time with others-(your partner accepts YOUR personality and YOU)
- You Take the time to build the relationship
- Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
- Trust and understanding results in less severe, less frequent or NO jealousy
- You can encompass a long-term commitment
- Your relationship survives and is strengthened because of distance
- Your Quarrels are less serious and less often
- Your infrequent Quarrels strengthen the relationship