- Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
- Speak only in a "robot" voice.
- Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
- Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Sniffle incessantly.
- Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
- Name your dog "Dog."
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
- Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
- Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
- Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
- Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
- Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
- Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Drum on every available surface.
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
- Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
- Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
- Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
- Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
- Set alarms for random times.
- Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
- Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
- Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
- Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
- Wear your pants backwards.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
- Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
- ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- only type in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Pay for your dinner with pennies.
- Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
- Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
- Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
- Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
- Light road flares on a birthday cake.
- Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
- Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
- Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
- At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
- When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
- Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
- Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
- Drive half a block.
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
- Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
- Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
- Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
- Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
- Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
- Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
- Wear a LOT of cologne.
- Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Mow your lawn with scissors.
- At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
- Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
- Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
- Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
- Never make eye contact.
- Never break eye contact..
- Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
- Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
- Make appointments for the 31st of September.
- Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Dr Watson Postmortem Debugger
Dr. Watson for Windows is a program error debugger that gathers information about your computer when an error (or user-mode fault) occurs with a program. Technical support groups can use the information that Dr. Watson obtains and logs to diagnose a program error. When an error is detected, Dr. Watson creates a text file (Drwtsn32.log) that can be delivered to support personnel by the method they prefer. You also have the option of creating a crash dump file, which is a binary file that a programmer can load into a debugger.
If a program error occurs, Dr. Watson for Windows starts automatically. To configure Dr. Watson, follow these steps:
- Click Start, and then click Run.
- Type drwtsn32, and then click OK.
By default, the log file created by Dr. Watson is named Drwtsn32.log and is saved in the following location:Disabling Dr.Watson
drive:\Documents and Settings\All Users.WINNT\Application Data\Microsoft\Dr Watson
1. Click Start>Run>type Regedit and click ok.
2. Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\Current Version
3. Select AeDebug in the right pane ,double click it and enter value 0.
4. Close registry editor, restart your computer.
If you have problem with access to registry, download the registry file released by Microsoft , run that registry file.
The World's First Supercomputer CDC 6600
The Control Data Corporation 6600 was the world's first supercomputer, designed by Seymour Cray and James E. Thornton.
The 6600 had 60 bit words with 18 bit addresses, for a potential of 256k words (or about 2 megabytes) of memory, but was commonly only shipped with 128k words, while the 6400 was commonly equipped with 64k words. It processed 10 million instructions per second, awesome speed for 1964.
Characters were 6 bits wide (64 possible characters) and 10 of them were packed into the larger 60-bit word.
The programming language Pascal was created on the CDC 6000 series computers at ETH Zurich (Federal Instute of Technology).The machine was Freon cooled. Selling for $6 to $10 million each, Control Data Corporation manufactured about 100 machines.
The console screens were calligraphic, not raster based. Analog circuitry actually steered the electron beams to draw the individual characters on the screen.
The CDC 6600 was a mainframe computer from Control Data Corporation, first delivered in 1964. It is generally considered to be the first successful supercomputer, outperforming its fastest predecessor, IBM 7030 Stretch, by about three times. With performance of about 1 MFLOP, it remained the world’s fastest computer from 1964–1969, when it relinquished that status to its successor, the CDC 7600.
The system organization of the CDC 6600 was used for the simpler (and slower) CDC 6400, and later a version containing two 6400 processors known as the CDC 6500. These machines were instruction-compatible with the 6600, but ran slower due to a much simpler and more sequential processor design. The entire family is now referred to as the CDC 6000 series. The CDC 7600 was originally to be compatible as well, starting its life as the CDC 6800, but during the design compatibility was dropped in favor of outright performance. While the 7600 CPU remained compatible with the 6600, allowing portable user code, the PPUs were different, requiring a different operating system.
A CDC 6600 is on display at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California.
છોકરી ને પ્રપોઝ કરીએ ત્યારે છોકરી ના શું જવાબો હોઇ શકે?
છોકરી ને પ્રપોઝ કરે ત્યારે સામે છોકરી ના શું જવાબો હોઇ શકે.. ? એમાના કેટલાક જવાબો અહિ છે.
1) ના.. ( જાણે આ એક જ શબ્દ આવડતો હોય! )
2) મે ક્યારેય નહ્તુ વિચાર્યું કે તમે મારા વિશે આવું વિચરો છો. ( લે.. આ વિચારે પણ છે?! )
3) હું તો તમને કાયમ એક સારા મિત્ર તરીકેજ જોતી હતી અને તમે ? ( બધા નાટક છે )
4) સોરી હું તો પહેલાથી જ એંગેજ છું. ( હા ૧૦ માં ધોરણ માં હતી ત્યારથી જ )
5) હું આવી બધી વાતોમાં નથી માનતી. તારૂ ભણવામાં ધ્યાન લગાવ. ( પોતે ચોરી કરીને પાસ થઇ હશે )
6) હજું હું તમને બરાબર જાણતી નથી. ( resume આપું જાણવા માટે )
7) હું આ સંબન્ધ માટે હજુ પુરી રીતે તૈયાર નથી. ( હજુ ૩૦-૪૦ વર્ષ લાગશે )
8) હું મારી બહેંપણી ને પુછી ને જવાબ આપીશ.. (એમા બહેનપણી ને પુછવાની શું જરૂર છે એ ખબર નથી પડતી )
9 ) આટલી વાત કહેવામાં આટલો બધો ટાઇમ લાગ્યો.
10) તારૂ મોઢું જોયું છે અરીસામાં કોઇ દીવસ ? ( જાણે પોતે રોજ અરીસાની સામેજ બેસી રહેતી હોય )
11) કશું પણ બોલ્યા વગર હસ્યા કરશે ( જાણે એની સામે કોઇ જોકર ઉભો હોય )
Software Engineer's marriage Proposal... (Sholay Style)
This is a revised version of shot from Sholay, When Jay (Amitabh) goes to Mausi with the marriage Proposal of Veeru (Dharamendra) with Basanti (Hema). Enjoy..
Amitabh : Mausi, ladka Software Co. main kaam karta hai..
Mausi : Hai ram.. Kaam karta hai software co. main...??
Amitabh : Aajkal to salary bhi mil rahi hai use..
Mausi : To kya salary nahi milti thi..
Amitabh : Ab apraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi.....
Mausi : Hai hai ...To kya apraisal bhi nahi hoti uska..
Amitabh : Senior se ladai karne ke baad apraisal mein achhi rating to nahin na milti hai mausi..
Mausi : To kya ladta bhi hai..
Amitabh : Ab der raat tak ghar jaane ko na mille to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi anban..
Mausi : To kya der raat tak ghar bhi nahin jataa..
Amitabh : Ab engineers ki kismat mein to yehi likha hai mausi..
Mausi : To kya ladka engineer hai..
Mausi : Kaunse college se kiya..
Amitabh : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!
Amitabh : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi???
Mausi : Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center wale se shaadi kar le par Software engineer se katai nahin karegi.....
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)