Saturday, May 19, 2012


Questions you just can't answer.........
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor? 
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 
  • Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? 
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 
  • Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
  • What is the speed of darkness? 
  • Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? 
  • If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 
  • Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? 
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 
  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 

Did you ever stop and wonder........ 
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' 
  • Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' 
  • Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? 
  • Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? 
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! 
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 
  • Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 

Stop singing and read on...... 
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 
  • Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?